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Today’s content is a little more in depth than my typical posts, so buckle up and stay with me. By the way, thanks for being part of this journey with me. I’m truly grateful.
Most of us know very well the story we tell about our lives. We’ve subconsciously rehearsed it so that we don’t show up as a loser. As I said above, many of us are managing a fantasy versus building a future.
The version we share at dinners. We say just enough to pass the baton but not enough to be honest. Nobody is really listening to you anyway, right? We are comfortable with the story that makes sense of our choices, or at least we tell ourselves that.
The one that sounds coherent, purposeful, and headed somewhere good versus incoherent, void of meaning and headed nowhere.
But leadership has a way of revealing a quiet question underneath all of the facade:
What is the story you’re telling—what is the story you’re actually living?
Because those are almost never the same. John Eldridge says, “Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a facade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise.”
The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once wrote, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” Most leaders are great at explaining things in reverse. We can justify. Rationalize. Connect the dots. But living forward—without clarity, without control—that’s where the real story is being written.
You can see the gap show up in subtle ways.
You say you value presence, but you’re always slightly distracted.
You talk about margin, but your calendar has none.
You believe in growth, but you keep avoiding the conversation that would actually change something.
Nothing is on fire.
Nothing is “wrong.”
But something feels off.
That tension is usually a signal that the story you’re living is being shaped more by momentum than intention. Make no mistake, momentum is a powerful force.
Modern life makes this easy. Algorithms reward reaction. Urgency gets applause. Busy looks like important. And leadership, especially, can turn into a series of responses instead of a series of choices.
You didn’t choose this pace.
You inherited it.
You adapted to it.
You survived it.
And now—without ever deciding—you’re living inside it. Sound familiar? As leaders we need to wake up and take back the power of choice.
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That’s why C. S. Lewis offered such a sobering reminder: “Every time you make a choice, you are turning the central part of you… into something a little different than it was before.” In other words, the story isn’t written in big declarations. It’s written in small, repeated decisions.
The story you’re living is written in those choices.
It’s written in how you start your mornings.
In how you speak when you’re tired.
In what you reach for when things feel heavy.
In what you keep saying yes to—and what you quietly avoid.
Leadership doesn’t require perfection.
But it does require honesty.
At some point, every leader has to pause long enough to ask: If someone watched my life—not my words—what story would they say I’m living right now?
A story of courage—or comfort?
A story of alignment—or accommodation?
A story of growth—or maintenance?
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about authorship.
You don’t get to control every chapter. But you do get to decide whether you’re awake to the one you’re in.
And the best leaders I know don’t wait for a breakdown to rewrite the plot. They make small, faithful edits while the story is still unfolding. What if those little mishaps along the way were seen as signals not noise? What if God is trying to get your attention and help you write a better chapter?
So here’s a question worth sitting with this week:
If nothing changed externally—same role, same season, same pressure—what would need to change internally for the story you’re living to better match the one you believe in?
Because eventually, the story you’re actually living is the one that shapes you, not the fantasy that most of us are more comfortable managing.
And it’s the one others will follow.
YOU are that leader!
In Your Corner,
— Josh
